🌙 Self-Love is the Beginning of Everything

The Hermetic principle “As within, so without” — central to the ancient esoteric tradition of Hermeticism — reminds us that what we see and experience in the external world mirrors our inner state and beliefs. Your thoughts, feelings, and perspectives shape how you dance with the universe — and the universe, in turn, reflects that dance right back to you.

Before we can invite true, soul-deep partnership into our lives, we must begin with the first and most enduring love story we will ever live — the one with ourselves. So often, we long for a partner to truly see us — to understand, cherish, and celebrate us. But how can anyone reflect back what we have not yet recognised within? This is why self-love is not a luxury, not indulgence, not a side quest… it is the beginning of everything.

💖 The Alchemy of Self-Love: The First and Most Sacred Relationship

In the Hermetic Principle of Correspondence — “As within, so without” — we are reminded that our inner world shapes our outer reality. When we nurture compassion, joy, and sovereignty within ourselves, these qualities ripple out into our relationships, our opportunities, even the way the world touches us.

When we root ourselves in self-love, we no longer search for a partner to complete us. Instead, we invite a partner to meet us — whole to whole. That is divine love. That is true alchemy.

I remember back in 2018, I went for a Theta Healing session and told the facilitator that my romantic relationship at the time was lacking love, closeness and magic. We had a beautiful session focused on attracting more love into my life. The healer held my hands — but I felt my arms lift wide open, heart chakra blooming.

After the session, my boyfriend broke up with me. I was shocked and heartbroken — my ego clung to the visible loss instead of staying open to what might unfold. But the universe had bigger plans. Soon after, I found a better job, with a wonderful, conscious manager who felt like a breath of fresh air. I met someone new — another temporary partner — but that experience gave me ideas for the life I truly wanted. The process that started in that healing session was in full flow.

I began to see myself with different eyes — more worthy. I dared to do things just for me, which I once thought was selfish. Like any unlearning, it took time to override old beliefs: that doing something nice for myself meant I had to share it or justify it. I ended a relationship that no longer served me and cut old ties. Then I went to Bali to do yoga — my ultimate act of devotion to myself, tending mind, body, and soul.

Still, I was baffled at what self-love really looked like. I remember asking a girl at my yoga course, “How would self-love look?” She told me: Treat yourself with the same love you would a pet. It took time to land, but slowly I learned — and I am still learning.

🌿 What Does Self-Love Look Like?

Self-love wears many faces. It’s not always rose petals and bubble baths — though there’s a place for those, too. It’s a living, breathing devotion to your well-being. It’s tending to yourself as sacred ground.

Here are just a few forms it can take:

💬 Being kind to yourself: Not just when life is smooth, but especially when you stumble. Speaking to yourself with warmth, patience, and forgiveness.

🛑 Being assertive: Saying no when something isn’t right for you. Honouring your boundaries. Walking away when something or someone doesn’t nourish your spirit.

🥗 Eating to feel alive: Choosing food that supports your energy and vitality — not out of control or punishment, but love. And when you do devour chocolate or take-away, treat it like an adventure, not a reason for shame.

🤸‍♀️ Moving with joy: Yoga, dancing in your kitchen, hiking through hills — let it be delight, not duty. If you’re frowning, panting, and cursing halfway up a steep hill — pause, breathe, laugh at yourself. Push yourself onwards, but not off a cliff!

🌬️ Creating silence and stillness: Self-love can sound like your own breath in meditation, your heartbeat on a solo walk, your soul whispering truths only you can hear. Take that time for yourself. It is sacred.

🔥 Releasing selflessness as virtue: We’re taught to give until empty, to measure our worth by sacrifice. But true love — the kind that transforms — is given from overflow, never depletion. As Emily Fletcher says: You cannot share from an empty cup.

✨ The Inner Mirror

When we meet ourselves with reverence, we become the mirror for the love we long for. We attract those who honour our needs, who see our magic, who hold space for our shadows and our light — not because we perform worthiness, but because we embody it.

When you look at all you’ve been through — your heartbreaks, your courage, your softness — you will see: you are already a divine recipe. Nothing is missing. Nothing was wasted. Everything has led you here.

Your dream relationship does not begin with someone else.It begins the moment you decide to love yourself like the masterpiece you truly are.

✨ You Are the Creator of Your Own Universe — Your Body

I say this deliberately, because I see it in myself and in so many others: our society has stripped the sacredness from the beautiful human body — this earthly temple for your divine, eternal soul. The religion I was raised in labelled the body as sinful, same for creating another body, feeling pleasure, or enjoying physical contact — all deemed wrong. This spills into secular and spiritual life alike.

Humans turn to pills, surgery, punishing routines to fix their bodies — forgetting that our state is shaped by mind, environment, food, stress and the quality of connections with others.

Your body is your personal universe — an intelligent, sensitive system listening to every thought and word you speak about yourself. Science shows our words and thoughts influence how our bodies function. Your inner dialogue matters.

Think of your words as spells. When you speak kindly, your body responds: stress lowers, immunity improves, vitality flows. When you’re harsh or critical, the body tenses, inflames, closes down.

This is why loving your body is vital. Treat it like your beloved. Feed it well. Rest it well. Move it in ways that feel delicious. Speak to it with tenderness.

Your words shape your reality. Use them wisely, lovingly. Your body is listening.

If you wonder about the your relationship with the self, I invite you to take the quiz below.

🌸 How Strong Is Your Self-Love? — A 10-Question Quiz 🌸

Answer each question honestly — there’s no right or wrong, only a window into your heart.

1️⃣ When you make a mistake, do you…A) Beat yourself up and replay it over and over?B) Remind yourself mistakes are human and look for the lesson?

2️⃣ How easy is it for you to say “no” when something doesn’t feel right?A) I feel guilty and usually say “yes” anyway.B) I trust my “no” and say it without over-explaining.

3️⃣ How often do you compare yourself to others?A) Often — I feel like I’m not measuring up.B) Rarely — I know my path is unique.

4️⃣ When was the last time you did something just for you?A) I honestly can’t remember — I put myself last.B) Recently — I make time for things that nurture me.

5️⃣ Do you tolerate disrespect or mistreatment in relationships?A) Sometimes — I don’t want to upset anyone.B) No — I know my worth and protect my peace.

6️⃣ When you look in the mirror, your first thoughts are usually…A) Critical — I notice what I wish I could change.B) Kind — I accept and appreciate what I see.

7️⃣ Do you celebrate your wins, big or small?A) Not really — I focus on what’s next or what’s lacking.B) Yes — I take time to acknowledge and savour them.

8️⃣ When you’re alone, how do you feel?A) Lonely or restless — I need distractions.B) Content — I enjoy my own company.

9️⃣ How do you handle negative self-talk?A) I believe it and spiral deeper.B) I notice it and gently reframe it with compassion.

🔟 How often do you feel grateful for your life as it is?A) Rarely — I mostly see what’s missing.B) Often — I see blessings, even in small things.

✨ Scoring Your Self-Love Snapshot ✨

Count how many A’s and B’s you chose:💛 Mostly A’s: Your self-love garden needs some tending. You may be giving too much away or holding old patterns of self-criticism — but awareness is the first beautiful step.🌷 Mostly B’s: You’re watering your self-love roots well! Keep honouring your worth and boundaries. Celebrate how far you’ve come.🌙 A Mix: You’re in the sacred middle — growing, noticing, shifting. Be patient with yourself and keep choosing small acts of self-kindness every day.

Wherever you are on the scale, here are seven gentle yet powerful ways to deepen your self-love today:

🌿 7 Self-Love Practices to Nourish Your Sacred Garden

1️⃣ Daily Mirror Talk: Each morning, look into your eyes in the mirror and say something kind — even if it feels awkward. Let your reflection hear love.

2️⃣ Sacred Solo Date: Take yourself out — for a coffee, a walk, a museum. Be fully present with your own company, like you’re courting your own soul.

3️⃣ Unplug and Rest: Switch off your devices for an evening. Let your nervous system breathe. Take a bath, read a book, stare at the sky.

4️⃣ Write Yourself a Love Letter: Pour your heart onto paper. Thank yourself for what you’ve survived, what you’re learning, how bravely you keep showing up.

5️⃣ Celebrate Small Wins: Did you rest when you needed to? Spoke up for yourself? Finished something you started? Celebrate it. Light a candle for it.

6️⃣ Tend Your Body Like Sacred Land: Feed it nourishing food, move it gently, rest when tired. Massage your feet with oil. Bless your skin.

7️⃣ Practice Saying No: Choose one thing this week to say no to — something that drains you. Honour the boundary without guilt.

✨ May this be your reminder: You are the guardian of your own heart. May you tend it with devotion. May you love yourself so deeply that the world cannot help but reflect that love back to you.

I would love to hear from you. How does self-love live and breathe in your world? What parts of this journey feel tender, brave, or new for you?

I invite you to pause, place a hand on your heart, and share a piece of your story in the comments below — or, if you’d rather whisper it privately, send me a message.

What small act of love will you offer yourself today? What truth did this piece stir awake in you?

Your words may be the gentle nudge someone else needs to soften into their own self-love too.

Together, let’s remember: you are worthy, you are whole, you are sacred — exactly as you are.

💌 I’m listening. I’m here. And I can’t wait to hear your heart.

✨ A Blessing for Your Self-Love Journey ✨

May you remember that you are the keeper of a sacred garden — your own heart.May you water it with patience, speak to it with kindness, and guard it with courage.

May your breath remind you of your belonging.May your body feel like home.May your reflection soften when you greet it.

May you trust that your dreams choose you for a reason — and may you always know:You are worthy of the same love you so freely give.

And may you walk this path, not alone — but surrounded by whispers of grace,reminded with every step that you are enough, exactly as you are.

🌙 Blessed be 🌙